What does it mean to be cool?


A comment on “how to become cool” advice


“How to become cool?” has become an often asked question. And it’s not easy to answer that one, nor to give a definition of being cool.

First of all, you can’t become cool. You’re either cool or you ain’t. There’s no such thing as suddenly becoming cool. People trying to be cool are the uncoolest persons ever! And you all have a bunch of these people surrounding you, especially your facebook “friends”. All those guys pumping up likes with gym mirror pics of their abs and bulky pecs, as well as those stupid girls taking selfies in a restaurant or a nightclub. That is so primitive. Nothing can be less cool than that.

Secondly, cool people are being themselves. They don’t pretend, they just ARE. Usually, the term cool is being linked with a rebellious guy. Like James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause, or Marlon Brando starring in The Wild One or A Streetcar Named Desire, or perhaps a James Bond type of cool character. The style of a handsome bad boy who doesn’t give a fuck, and is constantly colliding with society. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be the one who’s in a collision. It can also be someone with manners, smart and well-read.

Scientists did some research about it, and the trait that mostly came as an answer was “attractive”. But what makes them attractive? Exactly! That’s the core thing. Persons that are attractive by their nature, are mentally and physically “cute”, which is to say, they possess authentic energy or charisma. People that don’t need to emphasize their virtues, but on the other hand embrace their flaws. Also, cool people don’t exaggerate in extreme attitude. Not too much in denial, but not too much in acceptance either. Neither too cold nor too hot. Just cool. It does not mean that they don’t have any interests. It’s just that they don’t waste their energy on certain trivial things.

A cool guy is a person completely comfortable in his own skin, living his own lifestyle and not giving a fuck if someone likes it or not. No matter how similar we are, everyone has a unique set of traits. Being who we are, makes those traits more visible and more acceptable. And it’s none of our concern if someone likes it or not.

So then, to cut the long story short – how to become cool? The answer is very simple, you don’t. You’re either cool, or you ain’t. You’re either being yourself (whoever and however you are), or you’re walking in someone else’s shoes. Trying to be cool is like moving in a quicksand. The more you try to get out, the more you’re sinking. So, if you bump into an article that answers this question, or gives you “secret tips” on how to achieve it, just skip it. They don’t know a thing.


“The reason why you want to be better is the reason why you aren’t.”   Zen proverb

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